Tax Season

The USA is buzzing with excitement over tax returns right now. Everyone gets to go out and buy a brand new TV, new video game systems and other electronics, they’re getting new tattoos, clothes, vehicles, etc. Most other years I was right there with the general public and giving all that tax money directly to the local retail stores. But this year, it’s different.

Yes, we got a tax return, but we aren’t going and getting all the latest gadgets.

The ONE thing we had promised the kids we would do this year is go on a vacation. We were discussing Florida, and everyone was quite excited about it. Unfortunately, when we found out that my unemployment payments in 2017 cut into our refund more than I ever knew it would, we had to flush the dream of a family vacation on the beach right down the toilet (along with creating some guilt for both Jarrod and I for having to break that promise).

We had to face facts: the best we could do is keep paying our monthly bills with a small boost so we didn’t fall behind, and plan a mini-vacation closer to home. So now we are looking at resort-style hotels within Iowa to go spend a night or two. There is one place a couple hours away that has laser tag, bowling, go karts, an arcade, and an indoor water park that we’re looking into. It sounds pretty fun to me, and the kids all seem to be on board with that idea. But if for some reason that doesn’t work out or ends up being out of our price range, we’ll just stick to the Iowa State Fair later this summer, and perhaps a visit to Adventureland, our local amusement park.

I’d be lying if I said I was not disappointed, myself. I have visited Florida the last 2 years, and I LOVE it there. The ocean is spectacular. I know for a fact 2 of my boys were really looking forward to going, and the girls seem rather let down that we aren’t going, as well. But as it stands, we will just have to settle for Iowa. As long as we can have fun together as a family, that is what REALLY matters, right?

Those are my thoughts for today. Not all blog posts can be sunshine and rainbows… this IS real life afterall. ๐Ÿ™‚ And if you’re an Iowa native and have any suggestions for awesome family fun within the state, please leave a comment/suggestion for us to look into. Thanks in advance.

Planning

After shopping around for tubal reversal surgeons, submitting my records to a few different specialists throughout the country, and being shot down by one for sure, possibly a second… I got approval by Dr. Monteith in Raleigh, NC. As of today, my tentative surgery date is April 6, 2018. I will be having a Filshie clip removal and reanastomosis of my tubes. Jarrod and I will be traveling to North Carolina by plane (my first flight EVER!) and staying in a hotel for a couple of nights. The first day there I will have a pre-op appointment. The second day there, I will have the surgery. The third day there I will have my follow-up appointment and we will be able to fly home. Attempts at conception can begin “whenever I feel ready,” according to A Personal Choice website information.

However, Jarrod and I have decided that while we allow my tubes time to heal, he will wait to get his vasectomy reversed until May or June. We still plan to go to the Oklahoma based surgeon for that procedure, likely by car since it’s only about a 7 1/2 hour drive.

This is only day 4 of actually research, submitting forms and paperwork, and phone calls and already we have a lot accomplished. Tomorrow morning I will be going over some more of my medical information with A Personal Choice nurses, and my surgery schedule will be made official. The next steps after that are completing some lab tests, booking airline tickets, booking the hotel, budgeting food and possible light entertainment in Raleigh (maybe dinner and a movie), and finding a way to and from the airports.

Jarrod and I are beyond excited!!! I wanted to have my tubes reversed years ago, but at this point I am VERY glad I never did. I waited for the right man to come into my life to show me what a great dad he already is, and most certainly will be to a child we share. And he said he never really thought about having more babies until he and I got together, and now it’s all he can think about. This future baby of ours is so very lucky to have 2 very adoring parents, who love each other very much and are already established in parenthood and life in general, and also lucky to have 6 big brothers and sisters, and grandparents who are awesome as well.

…Although the siblings and grandparents, other family members and friends (and blog followers) will NEVER know about any of this story until we succeed in getting me pregnant. It’s our little secret.

The Decision To Have More

The day Jarrod and I got married we talked about how much we wanted to have met earlier in life and have babies together. We talked about getting my tubal ligation reversed, and getting his vasectomy reversed, and trying to have just one more. We dreamed together about what a baby between us would look like, how we would raise it, we even talked about possible names. Within 24 hours we tabled the idea and moved on.

However, over the last few months it has come up a few more times. We’ve talked about getting reversals, what it might look like to be new parents all over again. We had Malia (Jarrod’s ex-stepdaughter’s baby / grandbaby) quite a lot for a while there, and we sorta came to the conclusion that we didn’t want to take that much time away from each other… but now that we’ve settled into our life together, we have started revisiting the idea.

Last night we finally had another serious conversation about it. And Jarrod turned to me and said “ya know, this is something we’ve talked about off and on since the day we got married. If it’s something we really want to do, we need to get it done.” And so the conversation continued. While he was at work today I reached out to a few reversal clinics, requesting more information. I even sent a release of information form to one, signed, so they can get my medical records and tubal ligation report. It’s possible that within the week, we will have answers from these places.

In the meanwhile, Jarrod just has to pay $1900 and travel to Oklahoma and he’ll be set. So his part is easy. But on my end, I need to have my uterus and ovaries thoroughly examined to make sure I am still able to be a mother again. My mom had cervical cancer when she was close to my age, and the last time I had a pelvic exam, my doctor seemed to think I may have a uterine polyp sticking out of my cervix. So I need to get that examined. Plus, my BMI needs to be under 32, which just means taking off this last 15-20 lbs, and I’ll be set. We have to track down my whole health to make sure spending $10K for these surgeries (combined, with travel) is going to get us the baby we dream of. If my health checks out, we may be able to conceive before the end of 2018.

All day, he’s been at work and we’ve been texting about it. And since he’s been home we’ve been talking about it. We’ve decided to tell no one until I am pregnant and we know the pregnancy is in good shape. We’re both hoping for a girl. Neither one of us really knows how any of the older kids are going to react, but we know for sure our exes are going to have a lot of resentment and jealousy. We know since the older kids and this baby will have such a gap in age, this baby’s upbringing will be that of an only child most of the time. Because even if I conceive this year, and have the baby in 2019, the youngest of our oldest kids will be 12 by the time the baby is born, and the oldest will be 17.

I’m probly far more excited than I should be considering all of my potential obstacles at this point. I had truly decided I was done with my childbearing years. But the idea of having a baby with the man I love, seeing how our genetics play together, and sharing that experience with no exes, no visitation or custody, no child support, no restrictions…. having OUR OWN BABY and our own family… a common element that brings all the girls and all the boys and the 2 of us all together… that would be a true miracle and blessing. And I cannot wait to get started!

A blog about my life as a devoted wife and mother…

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